14 more online dating etiquette rules

Recently, we put together a piece called The 9 Nine Unspoken Rules Of Online Dating that covered every e-dating topic from keeping your phone number private to using realistic pics online. And while that article scratched the surface of online dating etiquette, there’s a whole lot more dating app advice we didn’t get to cover. 

So, without further ado, here’s 14 more online dating etiquette rules, tips and tricks to land a next-level lover in 2023. 

Focus on one app

Yeah, I know, you’ve got them all downloaded. And you’re checking them like it’s nobody’s business. You’re opening Bumble, then Hinge, and—oh, god—even Tinder in hopes of that little dopamine rush that comes with the words “you’ve got a match!” 

Here’s the thing, though. Downloading every dating app to increase your chances of finding the right match doesn’t actually work. Instead it spreads you thin and makes you less attentive when it matters. 

By having every app, you’re much more likely to get online dating fatigue, and much less likely to pay attention to really good, high-quality matches who might have something in common with you. So do yourself a favor: if you want to do this dating app thing right, cut out the apps you don’t like and focus on making a great profile on just one or two platforms. 

Use lots of different kinds of pics 

The biggest e-dating mistake I see? A profile with a bad collection of photos. That doesn’t necessarily mean ONE bad photo. Instead, it means the combination of photos someone is using doesn’t tell the full story of who they are.

For those of you who only post group photos in order to look fun and inviting to potential matches, you’re going to confuse and irk people who want to know which human in the picture is… well… you. Doing this can make it look like you’ve got something to hide, or like you’re not confident enough in yourself to show others who you are.

And then there’s the opposite problem. Some people only post mirror selfies—five, six, seven, sometimes ten of them in a row.

Doing this is equally bad. Why? Because you’re not showing off anything except you. More than just your looks, people want to see what you look like out at dinner, playing your favorite sport, hanging with friends, attending family gatherings, engaging in hobbies and having fun.

For best results, put together a selection of photos with a little bit of everything: self-portraits, group pics, action shots, a video, you name it. 

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

You’re single. So here’s your pass to play the field a little bit, and not give up your single-hood for the first cute catch you find. 

Yes, it can be exciting to fall head over heels for Mr. or Mrs. Dreamy. But you don’t owe them anything yet. And if you delete your apps right away—or ignore someone else who might be worth giving a first date—you could be missing out on someone who may be better for you in the long run.

Who knows? Maybe Mr. Dreamy is your always and forever. But you won’t know unless you’ve got a few people to compare them to.  

Access professional support

I can’t believe I have to say this in 2023, but… EVERYONE SHOULD ACCESS COACHING. That, or they should be involved in , or a mentorship program, or a community group of some kind. 

Why? Because I’ve been on dating apps too, and I know there’s enough of us out there who are definitely substituting mental health help for #relationshipgoals. Problem is, if you’re not working on yourself and learning how to be an independent, fully-formed person, you won’t have as much to offer when the right guy or girl rolls around. 

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So do your homework. Get some coaching. Learn about yourself. And then come back to the dating pool feeling confident and ready for what comes next. 

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Journal about your experiences

Not sure how you feel about a partner? Write it all out! Writing down your experiences with someone in a journal can help you understand how you feel about them. More than that, you can use a journal to create prompts.

One prompt that helped me was making a bullet list of everything I wanted in an ideal partner.  That way, when I met them, I knew they checked the boxes right away. 

Don’t talk about other potential partners on a date

I know, I know. It’s fun to gossip about bad Tinder dates. But when it comes to online dating etiquette, talking about the other people you’ve seen—or are currently seeing—isn’t good manners. 

Nobody wants to hear about your other attempts at love (at least, not on a first date). Instead, get curious about your current date and stay in the moment as much as possible.

Don’t stay on apps just to “swipe farm”

Do you want to date? Or do you just like how it feels when you get a new match?

If you’ve been on dating apps for a long time—say, a year or more—with no intention of actually dating, you might be unwittingly “swipe farming.” In other words, you’re collecting matches as an ego boosting exercise rather than a means for finding love.  

If this sounds like you (and #behonest about it), it’s time to get off Hinge. That, or make it clear on your profile that you’re not interested in something serious. 

Update your profile now and again

Are things slowing down online? Change stuff up on your profile. Choose new pics, update your bio and pick some new response prompts. Not only does this refresh your place in the dating algorithm, but it also shows potential matches new aspects about you that they might not have otherwise considered. 

Be selective with your matches

While it's tempting to swipe right on everyone, take the time to read profiles and only match with those who genuinely interest you. Quality over quantity will lead to more meaningful connections… and it’ll make checking your apps a lot less annoying when you’re scrolling through people you’re not interested in just to talk to someone who is intriguing to you. 

Engage in meaningful conversations

Here’s a list of the top 10 worst dating app openers:

• “sup”
• “hiiiiiii”
• “do u like music”
• “casual sex?”
• “ur gorgeous”
• “I like your dog” (Ok, this one’s not as bad as the rest, but still…)
• “lemme buy u a drink”
• “what’s ur favorite color”
• “idk why I’m on this app but you seem cool”
• “me + u = [insert peach and eggplant emojis]”

When starting a conversation, go beyond generic or bland opening lines. Reference something specific from the person's profile to show you've taken an interest in them. Ask open-ended questions to encourage deeper conversations and actively listen to their responses.

Stay safe out there 

Last time, we talked about hanging onto your phone number until you trusted the person enough to provide them with your contact info. That goes for general safety, too. 

Always prioritize your safety when using dating apps. Avoid sharing personal or sensitive information too soon, and be cautious when meeting someone in person. Make sure to meet in a public place, inform a friend or family member about your plans, and trust your instincts.

Don’t get (too) upset about rejection 

Rejection is a common part of dating apps, and it's important not to take it personally (unless, of course, they call you something awful—then it’s more than okay to #block them into eternity).

Not every match will turn into a connection, and that's okay. Stay positive, keep an open mind, and continue to explore other profiles. The right match will come along when the time is right.

Unplug, unwind and take a break when you need it

Using dating apps can sometimes feel overwhelming or exhausting. That’s because finding love isn’t always easy, and working too hard at it can start to feel less and less rewarding with time. 

When you feel yourself getting burnt out and frustrated, it's important to take breaks. Take time for self-care, pursue your hobbies, and come back to the app when you feel refreshed and ready to engage again. Try putting the apps on pause, setting time limits for dating app usage on your phone, or deleting apps altogether before redownloading them at a later date. 

Lastly, be yourself

No great relationship starts with a lie. Remember that when you’re online dating, while it’s tempting to make yourself look more successful, hot, smart, funny or *important* than you are, the truth is that you want someone who wants you for exactly who you are—not soe puffed up version of yourself. 

It’s okay to be yourself. After all, you’re the one who does it best.  

And someone out there is going to absolutely love that about you. 

Need more e-dating advice?

We’re here for you. Drop us a line and let’s talk about how to start your next romance off on the right foot.