My Relationship Is Over. Now What?
The death of a relationship is a pretty final thing, isn’t it? It hurts like a (insert whatever expletive you prefer here), and that’s just a fact — some psychologists theorize our brains treat breakups like a loved one has died. That’s understandable: when you lose the most significant source of emotional support and companionship in your life, it really does feel like someone has died.
Despite this, you’re not alone, breakup-er or breakup-ee. You’ve just gone through something impossibly hard, but it’s not the end of the world. Why? Because even when things are at their worst, and you feel as though there is no moving on from this, that’s not the case. You may feel like you have absolutely no one to turn to — but you do.
There’s a whole list of people you can look to in these times. And we’ve got some recommendations. The first person we want you to consult with? You.
Yes, you. While there are so many additional tools, resources and tactics out there to help you through this time — and we’ll get to those, we promise — the first, most important person resource you can tap into is yourself. Before you do anything else, take stock of who you are and what you want in this very moment. That’s right: it’s time for some heavy self-reflection.
Now is the time to ask questions. The right questions. Don’t ask yourself how you can win them back, or what you could have done differently to “solve” your relationship. These questions aren’t helpful. Why? Because the relationship is over. There’s no solving for that. Say this as many times as you must to believe it: there is no going back.
Instead of looking in the rearview mirror, look for components of your relationship that signaled its end. Look at what your partner did to speed the end of your romance, and also look deep into your own thoughts and behaviors. Look at what this relationship turned you into and ask yourself if you like what you’ve become. Maybe that answer is yes — maybe you are stronger, wiser and more introspective after a major life event like this.
Or maybe the answer is no. Maybe you are feeling miserable about the whole experience, and while you know that someday you’ll be stronger for it, right now, you just want someone for support. Someone to help you weather this immediate storm.
That’s where our tools come in. Are you ready for them?
Journaling for breakup health
If you’re really feeling low after a beast of a breakup, journaling can be a good place to start. Writing out those feelings, giving yourself a space to play with your own voice (and maybe find it again), and asking yourself questions where nobody but you can read the answers… these are all great things journals can offer.
Still, journals lack that little extra “something.” Unlike friends and family, who talk you through things, journals don’t talk back. Or… do they?
Enter The Journal That Talks Back, a journaling service where the journal really does talk back. How? On the other end of that journal is a certified responder waiting to read what you’ve written and reply with questions, insights and informative answers. They’re not friends and family, and that’s a good thing. Why? Because friends and family don’t always tell us what we need to hear. Friends and family comfort us, which is all well and good, but when it comes to personal growth, sometimes, they can stunt us.
Certified responders won’t do that. They’re trained to ask the right questions, the hard questions. They’ll turn your world upside down a little bit, but that’s okay, because the truth is, your world has already been turned upside down by the end of your relationship. What you really need is someone to shake up your worldview, help you take stock of things, and properly move on with tools and confidence.
Your journaling partner will help you do that. They will be that person you can turn to, but they’ll also be the advocate in the corner helping you become a better person. And the best part? Unlike friends or family, who are not always available to us when we need them most, certified responders are always there. When you write a journal entry, they’ll reply in almost real-time, giving you quick feedback to any thoughts, good or bad, that you’re having.
Seeing the benefits yet? If you’re experiencing the end of a relationship and your world has been rocked, we highly recommend The Journal That Talks Back. You might be surprised at what you find. And who knows? You might just walk out of this experience with the tools, confidence and drive to pursue a newer, healthier relationship that helps you thrive and grow.
We are a coaching company with expertise in lots of different areas like mental wellness, career, relationships, parenting and a whole lot more. While coaching in The Journal That Talks Back™ can help you to take a deeper look at the above topics, we recognize that there are times when other resources, like therapy and/or counselling, may make more sense. As such, we have begun to develop a Mental Health Directory with well over 800 resources and we are investing time and effort into really growing it. It is also developed in a super user friendly way (we hope) so that it's easier to navigate than say another government website. Click the button below to check out our Mental Health Directory.