How to compromise in a relationship
Alright, it’s time to fess up.
Are you the sort of person who always needs to be right? Do you value being correct—even if it means sacrificing your own happiness? Are you often arguing with other people to prove your point, even if it causes tension, uneasiness, conflict and pain?
If that sounds like you, then you’ve got a lot in common with some of the most recent posts we’ve read on our coaching podcast, Am I The Bleep?!
Here’s three situations where being right cost someone their happiness.
Three people who chose to be know-it-alls over being happy
Situation one: a wife and her husband got pregnant at thirty-five. After announcing the pregnancy, the wife’s sister informed her that it was a “geriatric pregnancy,” and that she should be wary of the health complications involved. Despite the wife telling her sister not to worry about it, the sister kept pushing the issue by talking about it at dinner, sending the wife articles about geriatric pregnancies online, and more.
What happened? The wife blocked her sister on social media, and stopped talking to her. Sure, her sister was right about the pregnancy—it was at an advanced maternal age—but did she end up being happier for being a know-it-all about it?
Situation two: a man and his wife went to dinner with the man’s father-in-law (FIL), mother-in-law (MIL) and brother-in-law (BIL). The BIL was diagnosed with both autism and misophonia, and had an aversion to crunching sounds. The man didn’t know this, and decided to order nachos. When the man bit into them, it sent the BIL into a rage.
After a heated argument, the man said it wasn’t his fault that he had to tiptoe around the BIL and his many, many problems. That upset his wife, the FIL and MIL, who promptly left the dinner. In the end, the man was right—neurological conditions aside, it wasn’t his responsibility to coddle the BIL—but was he happy?
A girlfriend noticed her boyfriend didn’t eat any vegetables. He wasn’t getting proper nutrients, and his doctors were worried. To remedy the problem, she started blending up vegetables and putting them in her BF’s food.
The BF’s health improved… until one night, he uncovered what she’d done. In a fit of anger, he yelled at his girlfriend for being manipulative and controlling, and left to stay with his sister. Here, the girlfriend was ABSOLUTELY right—it was unhealthy, and even childish, not to eat vegetables. She was doing her boyfriend a favor.
But did that favor make her happier in the end?
Being right often comes at a cost
What these situations illustrate is that being right often comes at a high cost. Sure, we may be a know-it-all about something, but if we use that knowledge to force our opinions on others, we may end up creating tension, conflict, and even resentment.
Think about it: if you're always correcting your partner or telling them what to do, they may start to feel like you don't trust them or respect their choices. Similarly, if you're always arguing with your friends about politics or current events, they may start to avoid you or feel uncomfortable around you.
In short, being right may give you a temporary sense of satisfaction or validation, but it often creates more problems than it solves.
Happiness involves learning how to compromise
On the other hand, prioritizing your own happiness requires learning how to compromise. You need to be willing to let go of the need to be "right" and focus on what truly matters: your relationships, your well-being, and your sense of inner peace.
For example, let's say you're at a restaurant with a group of friends (it seems restaurant examples make for great “right vs. happy” material), and one of them orders a dish that you know isn't healthy. Instead of lecturing them or making them feel bad, you might choose to simply enjoy the meal and focus on the conversation and connection with your friends. Or, if you're in a disagreement with your partner about something trivial, you might choose to let it go and prioritize the harmony of your relationship.
Naturally, this doesn't mean you should always compromise on your values or beliefs. That’s not your cross to bear. It simply means that you need to pick your battles wisely and focus on what truly matters in life: peace, harmony, and, yes, happiness.
Coaching can help you learn how to compromise
If you struggle with letting go of being right and learning how to compromise, working with a certified coaching professional can be incredibly helpful. Coaching can help you identify your core values and priorities, and guide you towards making choices that align with those values.
Ultimately, choosing “happy” over “right” is about finding a balance between your need for validation, and your desire for peace. It's about recognizing that being right isn't always right, and that compromise and compassion are essential for living a fulfilling and joyful life.
But don’t take this blog’s word for it. Hear it directly from the source: listen to the Am I The Bleep?! podcast today to learn more about how to be right, happy… or both.
Today's episode: AITA for hiding vegetables in my boyfriend’s food?
I couldn't think of what I wanted to say for today's episode description so I did the only thing I could think of and go to CHAT GPT to do my work for me.
Here's what was said by the infamous robot on it's first try...
"Am I the Bleep!?!," is the podcast that's more relatable than your ex's rebound. Hosted by two comedians who make dark humor seem like a ray of sunshine. If you're sick of life's BS, these guys got you. With anonymous guests who share their cringy stories, you'll feel like your life is not so terrible after all. Their unsolicited advice will make you wonder why you never thought of that (probably because it's terrible advice). So, if you need a break from reality, come join the hosts and forget your problems, or laugh at how they're worse than yours." - CHAT GPT
Wow, CHAT GPT...you are the A**hole :p
Today's posts include:
- AITA for telling my sister to fuck off with her scientifically accurate term?
- AITA for ordering nachos even though it “deeply offended and set off” my brother-in-law’s autism and sensory issues?
- AITA for hiding vegetables in my boyfriend’s food?